Over the last year we have been dealing with how to get our youngest daughter to get out of the relationship she was in due to abuse. They were engaged to get married and two weeks before the wedding last August we, meaning me and her dad, were able to sit down and talk to her. She broke down crying because she thought she was hiding it so well but she was scared! She left him and came home for three weeks only to go back to him thinking things would change. Long story short, they didn't! January 14th her boyfriend had to be gone for a month for his job, probably the best thing that ever happened for her! He left and her and our granddaughter, Hayley, went back to Texas for a week with me to see family. She had not been home in three years because of this monster! We had a blast! While there I could tell she was more relaxed but also thinking, about what I didn't know and she wasn't sharing. We returned home and that next weekend she went out with some of her best friends that she hadn't been allowed to see and she shared with a few of them how her life was. They all were livid with just part of what she shared. This really got her thinking plus she was watching her best friend and her fiance and what they had she had always wanted but was finally realizing she never would. She went home that night and on Sunday called us and told us she was leaving him for good. No tears this time at all. We knew she meant business. She started packing up all of her clothes, all of Hayley's clothes and toys and came here. Her sorry a** boyfriend called her one night drunk like always about three days before he was to come home and this was the door she needed opened for her to tell him it was over and she would not be there when he got home. She left this idiot with only her clothes, all of Hayley's clothes and toys, but no car. She wasn't allowed to have a car of her own!!!! Once he came home he realized she meant business too and started his "I will change, it won't happen again" stories. She didn't buy into them this time!!!! They finally agreed that she could have Hayley's furniture, all her stuff out of her office/craft room, a TV and a dresser, BUT the catch was that he was going to pack all of that up for her, which he did. We went yesterday and loaded all of this up thinking he would leave when we got there but he didn't. I wouldn't even look at him, our oldest ignored him but her boyfriend talked to him I think because he knew someone had to try to keep things civil. Hubby couldn't go because he had to work and it was probably best because he still wants to kill him. We got everything. We got her moved in with her sister and her boyfriend and she is now safe and I can already see my baby girl coming back out and being who she has always been! Hayley has taken it all in and has been fine. Luckily she is too young to understand or know what really was going on. It has really been funny that once everyone knew she was leaving him for good her phone started lighting up with text messages from people she hasn't seen or heard from since meeting him all tell her how proud they are of her. She has said that going back was stupid but she wasn't ready to leave him at that time plus she needed to see if he would change and he didn't. She can now walk away knowing she tried her best. We are extremely proud of her, extremely proud of our oldest daughter and her boyfriend offering to take her in when she knew the door here was always open (I think she needs some sister one-on-one time right now), and are very thankful she is now safe with Hayley!
I write all of this because I just needed to get it out. If I would have had my way yesterday when we picked everything up, I would have literally taken Buddy on myself. He has hurt my daughter in ways that don't show on the outside. The stories that she has told me would curl your toenails! Stories that I will never be able to tell her dad for fear he will hunt Buddy down even though he is out of our lives other than when we might have to see him on Hayley's birthdays. The anger runs deep right now for me and I hate that feeling more than anything on this earth. I have prayed that God will help me forgive but right now it is all too fresh I guess. I just keep telling myself that I am very thankful for the following:
- Cassi and Hayley are safe and happy.
- All the things that Cassi didn't get can be replaced.
- I will never have to pretend to like Buddy anymore.
- Buddy will never be sitting our table eating with us anymore.
- And that I have a God who will help me deal with my anger and my hurt for my daughter.
If you are reading this, thanks, and I hope that all my future posts will be fun stuff to share like quilts, cooking/baking, gardening, but most of all Hayley!!!
Until next time!!!